Friday, January 27, 2012

Same Sh*t... Different Year

I haven't written anything in a few months...

I was really busy at work up until my last day on Christmas Eve. Hate being seasonal... of course I AM still available... but I'm not part of the clique. Whatevs.

I did finally get my van. She is a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT... all the bells & whistles... the kids love the remote sliding doors & the DVD player.

I finally had found another job... I was going to be going to Papa Ginos. Remember when I had my kidney infection last week. Well, apparently, they like to play games there. The told me they would call me on Tuesday before 2.
Even during my orientation, I was in ├╝ber pain... but I just sat there and pretended to be fine. They didn't need to know what was going on with my body.

I was in way too much pain to deal Tuesday... I waited all day for their call... around 1:30... I fell asleep. The percocet I took kicked in and I passed out.
I woke around 6. It was now too late to call them and see what was going on... I called the next day... but the manager wasn't in. Just as I was getting ready to try again on Thursday... they called me. I explained to them what had happened. They asked if my back "injury" was something that happened a lot... I didn't want to tell them my personal stuff (that it was a kidney infection), but I did assure them that it was just something that came on suddenly... but I was fine & eager to start. They told me that they would call me in a day or 2 with a schedule.

After not hearing anything through Tuesday, I called and ended up speaking to the MIT... he told me that they were disappointed that I hadn't called them. I assured him it was completely unintentional and that it was NOT something I ever do... he told me to call the manager on Thursday. (Today)

I got up this morning and called first thing in the am. I was informed that they had changed their minds about my employment. That I failed their "test"... I understand from their point of view... I do... I've been a manager... but I find it exceptionally petty and underhanded. Do I really want to work for a company that treats people with such disrespect?

Screw it.

I did discover a new website... Scary Mommy
For anyone who knows that sometimes being a parent/spouse is just hell... Check it out. You won't be disappointed.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Damn You For Dying

Its been a year since you died, Brian.
WTF... you were my best friend... you were supposed to be here!
You missed my wedding damn you!

I should have let you stay with us again.
You were there for a month or so, the cigarette smoke was killing me... the lack of privacy... the damn country music channels on cable... don't think I didn't love being with you... but it was hard.

When you asked me if you would be able to come back & stay with us again... I should have let you. I would have forced you to go to the doctor that night. Dammit... you knew better. With your friggin diabetes, & heart issues... you KNEW BETTER!
If you had been here with me & Dan... maybe you wouldn't be dead now.
Your children wouldn't have lost their father... I wouldn't have lost my best friend.

I'm sorry Brian... I miss you so much.